Tell me if something like this ever happened to you:
You come across something wonderful, that looks awesome, feels awesome, and generally gives you an awesome feeling.
In time, you learn to love that special something. And love it very much. More than many things, if not all things.
You always think about that special something. Wherever you go, whatever you do. It's always in your mind. And not in the back of it. It always makes sense.
You love that something so much. You love it, but you can't have it. You can't even think you have it, or that you're gonna have it.
And then one day it happens, and you have that special something. And you feel that special something loves you just like you love it. Maybe even more?
And that's where it goes downhill.
That something loves you so much. But since when do you deserve to be loved by something like that? By something so wonderful?
That doesn't make sense. Maybe... Maybe it's not so wonderful? Heh, no way. Just look at it. Of course it is.
Then you come across another something. And that something looks and sounds so awesome again too. And that feeling is awesome. It's exciting. It's new. It's challenging...
And you start loving that something too. You're sure that this new something is the something for you. It all becomes very clear now. That is the something you've been waiting for, the something that fits you.
You spend a few days thinking. Excited about this new special something. Everything reminds you of it. God, that something is so awesome. Just wait until this something hears about what happened to you today. It'll know exactly what you mean and how you feel.
You get home and feel that something again. But the something is not what you thought it is. It's kinda different... Maybe it's having a bad day. You decide to call it a day, not worry about it too much and go to sleep. Tomorrow's a brand new day, and that something is going to be familiar tomorrow again. Familiar and nice.
Tomorrow comes, and you can feel that something again. But it's still not what you thought it was. And it's not nice.
And you realize that this new something was just an illusion. And that the real special something was really your old something. You feel hideous for betraying that old something's trust just by the fact you opened yourself to that new something without even thinking twice about it.
That old something's so beautiful. It's so nice. It always was.
But can you get it back?
Maybe it'll agree to come back to you. But you will never feel worthy.
And you lost all the somethings you had. You lost everything.
I hate the way my mind works. I really hate it. And I can't control it.
(this has no relation to reality - whatsoever. it's just a little something i was thinking about)
